I know that money is on a lot of people’s minds right now, but it should not stop you from starting your kink journey or having sexy times with the people you love! I want to give you kinky and fun ideas for sexy times with your partner or partners this year that will not break the bank, as well as trying new things in 2023!

Starting the lineup is getting yourself onto Fetlife (if you haven’t already). Finding and joining your local groups for some cheap social fun is a great way to get new info on kink topics, sexy activities to try, and make new connections as I think we can all agree we missed because of Covid. As well as saving you some money. Like the Simply Pleasure store in Leicester, they host a group called T.A.M.E.D which was created by enthusiastic locals who love all forms of kink but don’t have a place to learn close by, and it is free to come along to the classes. Donations are appreciated but not mandatory as all donations go into items for people to enjoy and things to use in class like rope and toys. Saving you from having to get all this equipment. All you need to do is sign up on Fetlife and join the group which then will give you lessons and meetings on shibari, pressure play, and takedowns and even bring in UK experts along to show electro-play and more. There are also groups called Munch in many cities and towns which is a vanilla get-together where people like to make connections with local people who share kink ideas and make plans together. Saving people long journeys if they are not close to major cities and towns which are known to have kink clubs/events. So, get yourself on Fetlife and look around at what local groups you can join.

Following the meeting people idea from joining your local groups. You can Introduce another person or persons into the bedroom with you and your partner. Agreements between all parties should be gone over and of course, we endorse safe sex, so make sure you are all tested. After all the formalities are over it pays off and you can have amazing times with it, make some wonderful connections with people and discover more about yourself or you and your partner/s. You can experience a lot of enjoyment from seeing each other enjoy another person (this is voyeurism) and pleasuring your partner whilst your partner can feel the same when they watch you. Like a group out-of-body experience. You also enjoy different styles and moves that cannot be done alone or with two people. I can honestly say I have enjoyed a lot of group sex, three to 25 people in a room! And each time was so different and tasty as it kept feeling new and all the emotions and sensations going around. But I get it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and don’t worry I got more ideas.

Three words. Hide and seek. Simple sounding, I know, but it can get the adrenaline running! This idea can be free with you heading to a local park or forest. Or hop on a bus and save your petrol. Make sure you know the area though and have phones charged and safe words discussed, I believe in safe fun regardless of the environment. Also, if you do play this, I want you to play hard! Hide away, climb trees, hide in bushes. Get your blood pumping like predator and prey. Mixing things up in a relationship can be as easy as trying new places to have sex as well as trying new things too. So don’t always just have sex in your bedroom or even on your bed. If you don’t like the idea of doing it somewhere more public, which has its legal ramifications, simply try doing it in new places in the house. There are many different places to have sex, so experiment! For example, try shibari on the stairs (you can find rope tie videos on Fetlife or YouTube), BDSM in the conservatory, airplay in the living room, and toys in the kitchen. Write down a list also of all the places you have had sex or can have sex, get to those areas, and check off that list no matter how odd (again be mindful of legality). Having a new environment each time helps make it feel and gives you new ideas on how that area can be utilized for kinky fun as well as making you see everything you do in a new light. Literally.

Bondage and shibari may not be for everyone due to medical conditions or personal preference. I’m not saying you must go full-on and chain each other to the ceiling with whips and needles to find this epic new sexual experience to try out. All you need is some research and understanding of the topic and then use them in a way you feel comfortable including safe words and timers. This can mean anything from just wearing leather assless chaps to strapping each other in wooden harnesses. The beauty of kink is that you find your level and subjects you enjoy and then explore them judge-free. Like the bondage topic, dom and sub sex may not be everyone’s cup of tea. As you may not have a dom or sub dynamic, being a switch or doing your own thing. I am a bratty sub so I can play with doms, but if I am alone with a sub, I can switch a bit I will enjoy the dynamic more if I am with a sub and dom together. To find the right vibes with the right people if you want to explore this outside yourself or your partnership. But you can go the gentler side of it as there is always something for everyone to enjoy! If anything doesn’t make you feel good and makes you uncomfortable, remember to use your safe words and make your feelings known. Doing this with your partner/s is a great way of making your bond stronger due to the trust and connection involved in this. You can learn what to do in the local groups I spoke about, through YouTube videos, there are tv shows or find yourself a dom or dominatrix website as they have videos on their sites, or you can do possible meets with them.

Now time to get creative, literally. Get your paint (make sure it's skin safe) and paint on one another. This is a fun activity which is cheap, fun and can connect to your partner’s body differently. You get a slow close-up look at each inch of your partner, growing your connection more as well as slow foreplay before the main event. Now you can either end it in a rainbow shower sex with one another. Or if you lay out paper on the floor or outside you can make a sexual masterpiece! Get freaky on the paper and that means you can keep it for good memories. A fun paint to use is UV paint, as then you can have dim lights on which add to the mood. Do not worry, UV torches on websites like amazon or eBay can be as cheap as £5, trust me I bought them and love them.

Now time for GAMES! And yes, I’m talking about dusting off your board games from Christmas and let’s get playing. Starting it off you can play Twister, naked. As it is a good idea for those that are trying to keep things feeling fun and new. All you need is the board game itself, strip off and start playing! Playing it naked with each other and watching each other move around in an amazing way, and getting skin-on-skin contact as you try to control your sexual urges. Not being able to touch each other will make the anticipation of having sex extra desired and fun. How about sex bingo? To win the game you must do those sexual activities in each box, this can be done with your partner or in big groups. As it will have you mingling around and thinking about how to win as well as who you get to have fun with. Have a list of topics that everyone is ok with doing, get them on your board as it does not matter if it’s random you still must go out and do the actions in a line to win! You can utilise kinky and sexy fun in nearly all your board games, certain turns or actions in games can be removing clothing or sexy things to do. We are all guilty of binging some epic things on TV. Now let us utilise that knowledge and role play! Make a list of your favourite sex scenes from tv shows and movies you like. You can even dress up for this, you can go to charity stores or style it up from your wardrobe. And yes, it’s as simple as that. You can even sometimes find the soundtrack for them on Spotify and other music companies to add that extra level of realism.

In conclusion, there are many ways to get your socks off whilst minding your budget, I hope I have helped you with some of my ideas or sparked any ideas of your own! Also, if you find something fun, share it! Let’s make the world a more fun kink/sex-positive place.